Cannibalism has been a subject of culinary interest since people have been hungry. Perhaps the reason for this is that people taste so good.

What tastes better than right-out-of-high-school fresh meat? Having just arrived in the dorms, the newest freshman class is still relatively untainted by all the contaminants that can affect the flavor of meat.

Coffee, cigarettes and alcohol all give meat that bitter taste. For the best results in your recipes, try to get the freshmeat in the fall. It has been known to taint its tender flanks with so many of these contaminants that by spring, the meat is inedible.

Naturally there could be no worse cut of meat than a fifth-year senior who has been pickled since ’93.

The ideal cut would be a freshman foie gras served up from the fleshy bits on the back of the leg. It’s a tasty treat that can’t be beat! But the rest of the meaty bits should not be ignored. There are a variety of sauces and pates that can be made from the internal organs. And of course we shouldn’t forget that the major bones can be cooked down into a tasty marrow broth.

I personally have never consumed human meat products, although I do believe I used to enjoy human dairy product daily. Naturally I think I would rather freeze to death in the Andes Mountains than eat human flesh.

As right-thinking people, the thought of eating human flesh repulses us. Deep down we know it is wrong. We know cannibalism is a crime of a most horrific nature.

Of course, there are some extenuating circumstances for which you can be acquitted.

I don’t think the Donner party would have been convicted for its dinner party, but I don’t think there’s a person out there who thinks there is a punishment severe enough for Jeffrey Dahmer.

Even the reasonable meat-eater probably wouldn’t think there was much controversy or debate over cannibalism. In fact, there is a turbulent debate over cannibalism and its place in our society. It’s not about whether or not we should be eating our underclassmen, it is more complicated than that.

The rumor mill has been grinding, and the stories have been flying. Horrific accounts of the consumption of aborted fetuses as delicacies are circulating. Stories of people buying aborted fetuses and eating them like vienna sausages have been reported and reprinted in foreign daily newspapers.

These reports have prompted Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C., senate foreign relations committee chairman, to investigate the allegations.

The hand-to-mouth consumption of aborted fetuses is only the grossest form of cannibalism; the other forms of cannibal consumption are far more insidious.

Medical research into the medicinal value of aborted fetuses leads us down the dark road of cannibal behavior. Doctors dissect and analyze these fetuses and are trying to develop pills and injections from their tissues. Imagine swallowing a pill for your illness made out of an aborted fetus. Yummy!

Jose Yelincic of the Rutherford Institute reports that “the market for fetuses in the cosmetic industry is already a gruesome reality.”

Cannibalism is an aberration that cannot be condoned. Perhaps examining a naturally miscarried fetus with the consent of its parents can be accepted like organ transplants. However, intentionally terminating a life, dissecting it, then eating it cannot be excused, no matter what illness it might relieve.

Much in the same way we cannot cannibalize ourselves, we must not force other species into cannibalism. PBS’ series “Nova” reported that mad cow disease was the result of the practice of feeding cows to other cows. It’s enough to keep me from eating beef.

We must let the specters of our cannibalistic past fade. Whether that cannibalism was before the Dark Ages or in modern times, we must let it fade from our memories.

It is time we leave past behind and move into the golden age ahead. Do not tempt creation. It can make mad cows of all of us.

Forsake this research and its creations. Do not use their cosmetics; ostracize those who do. Abstain from human delicacies if these investigations are true. We must make the world so that no one will be able to point to the lowliest human ? the cannibal.

James Holter is a journalism senior and writes a weekly column for The Daily Aztec. His e-mail address is jamesh@aznet.net.