KURNER'S KORNER: The female guide to filling out March Madness bracket

Allow me to begin this column by making the following point: I'm not sexist.

I know that (some) women are extreme sports fans, the kind that could break down the wishbone offense for hours or explain why Sean Marion's defense on the wing was integral to the Phoenix Suns' success.

However, I'm a realist.

And because of that, I know there are plenty of women who will fill out their brackets this March with some kind of insane logic - or as they call it, "feminine intuition." And these women will often win their NCAA office pools.

However, there is hope. If you're the type that constantly overanalyzes your bracket, you need to embrace March Madness. To help you out, I interviewed one of my female friends, who assures me her system is foolproof.

Now, you too can pull off insane feats such as winning despite picking three No. 12 seeds and a No. 6 seed to be in your Final Four, by simply following what I like to call "A woman's guide to the NCAA Tourney."

Uniform color matters

Apparently, women have these things called color palettes. I have no idea if this is similar to having a cleft palate, but apparently this is the No. 1 way she chooses her team.

"No bright orange, no bright blue," my female guide said. "No Christmas colors. Something nice, like a light blue."

I guess anyone banking on Tennessee to go all the way needs to think again.

Cuddly mascot is good

Apparently the mascot should be "take-homeable." While this rules out the Fighting Devins, it doesn't knock out as many teams as you'd think.

Apparently, the Florida Gators mascot is scary and ugly (words that have also been used to describe the Fighting Devins). However, the Tigers, the Panthers and the Huskies are all neither scary, nor ugly.

Through two rounds, she likes Connecticut, - "Those jerseys are nice" - Oregon or Memphis.

No weird superstitions

If your pick to win does any of the following, it's not happening. Weird uniform traditions, such as an entire team shaving a star into their heads or coaches wearing outlandish outfits means your team is done.

Sorry Bruce Pearl, more bad news for Tennessee.

Hotness of players

This is hardly a black-and-white subject, but apparently it does boil down to black and white. My friend refuses to pick any teams with rosters that are entirely black (bye bye Memphis), or any teams that are entirely white. (Drake, anyone?)

And if a team has a particularly ugly player (cough, "Lorenzo Mata-Real," cough), they're also out of her bracket.

Of course, in the unimaginable situation that none of those rules help her, she goes back to the old standard. Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.

We'll see how she fares.

- Devin Kunysz is a marketing senior who wants you to join his bracket group on Facebook.

- This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.

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