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June 26, 2011

A ‘sextual’ state of mind

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Written by: Sandy Coronilla

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There’s been significant news coming out of New York lately dealing with sex and sexuality.

Last Friday, the New York Senate approved the marriage equality bill granting same-sex couples the right to marry and be tied to the ol’ ball and chain, just like the rest of us poor heterosexually privileged souls.

Despite this progress, the rest of this month has been devoted to Weinergate. The state of New York, and indeed the entire country, salivated at the chance to hang another politician for being, well, just like the rest of us. How dare he?

Weinergate, made possible by another fateful union of former-New York Rep. Anthony Weiner and social media, captured our rapidly nose-diving attention spans.

The married man admitted to engaging in “inappropriate conversations” and exchanging “messages and photos of an explicit nature” via Twitter, Facebook, email and on the phone with women he had met online. Weiner subsequently felt pressure from the outside. Deflated, Weiner announced his resignation.

He’s not unlike the rest of us, though, is he?

Yes, Weiner is married and he’s foolish. He should seriously consider placing a limit on the sharing of his “package” with only his pregnant wife, rather than complete strangers in Texas.

But by and large, haven’t we all displayed just a little bit of tool-dom with the advent of internet technology?

How many chats, email exchanges, instant messages and Facebook self-portraitures have we been involved in or observed as being oh-so-wrong? On the flip side, how many legitimate relationships exist today because of something someone posted somewhere on that wonderful World Wide Web?

My best friend and her husband of about 10 years met through Yahoo! personals. Their adorable son just celebrated his first birthday. In the news recently, a 90-year-old Florida woman married a man she met on They’re looking forward to spending the rest of their (short) lives together. Thankfully, no word yet on whether sexting was involved in that courtship.

Here’s a recent true story that is fast becoming a favorite at dinner parties and coffee dates. I think it says a lot about: (a) the current sad state of my dating life, and (b) the digital age we’re living in right now.

A while ago and nowhere near campus, I slunk down into bed pleasantly fatigued, ready to enjoy an IRL (in real life) post-coital snuggle with a new lover. Seemingly a bit concerned for my welfare, he asked if I was ok.

Hmm. “Um, yes,” I replied, confused but blissfully so. “Of course, I’m fine. Why?”

He wrapped his arms around me and went on to explain how he had “been told” by previous sexual partners that he was so large that intercourse was sometimes painful.

OK, a little overconfident there, but I listened.

Then, he proceeded to tell me that (drumroll please) – ‘It’ has a Facebook page.

“Excuse me?”

“It has a Facebook page,” he repeated. “In high school I sent a picture of it to some girl over the phone and she shared it with everyone.”

I couldn’t quite tell if it was exasperation or pride that I noted in his tone of voice.

He went on to explain that the girl who had been in that no doubt envious position of being sent a crotch shot of Mr. Anaconda himself (much like Weiner’s “sextee” from Texas, I’m sure) managed to get it into the hands of his jokester friends who were all too happy to create a Facebook page dedicated to it.

Oh yes, it has a name, too, he told me.

You have got to be kidding me, I thought, as I stared blankly at the ceiling.

But no, he wasn’t. I’ve checked it out on Facebook; it exists. Although I’m not able to share it with you here dear readers, I assure you it’s legendary.

My point is merely this: It is all too easy to judge someone harshly; especially a male politician with the last name of Weiner, for engaging in what many these days might consider romance, or at least foreplay. Our definition of courtship and romance is changing along with techie advances. Sexting is a part of that.

Just as the great state of New York is advancing its civil rights policies by allowing same-sex marriage, it also needs to acknowledge when a crotch shot is just a crotch shot and (for sure!) not a measure of a man’s ability to represent his constituents.

Besides, at least Weiner didn’t have a Facebook page devoted to it.

- Sandy Coronilla is a journalism senior and would like to clarify that she is not interested in seeing anyone’s crotch. Please don’t sext her.

- The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.

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Sandy Coronilla


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