When two people are in the beginning of a romantic relation- ship, they tend to use texting as a primary method of communication. Although texting seems simple enough, there are guidelines people should follow when texting someone of interest. After talking with some San Diego State students, I learned some specifics when it comes to the rules of texting.
Whether two people exchange numbers at a party, in a class, or even at Starbucks, there is the question of who should initiate the first text. SDSU graphic design junior, Jesika said, “most of the time I wait for the guy to text me first, unless I want to invite him somewhere, like a party.” Guys should keep in mind if a girl doesn’t take initiative, she is most likely waiting for him to do so, and it’s not necessarily because she is uninterested.
SDSU kinesiology junior, Matt, advised guys to send the first text within three days, but preferably within the next day. “If you text the next day it shows that you are definitely interested in her,” Matt said.SDSU aerospace engineering se- nior, Victor, agreed saying, “If I just met her, (I’ll text her) a day or two afterwards. I don’t want to risk them forgetting who I was or how we met, especially if there was drinking or partying involved with introductions.”
It’s important to get in contact with the person while you’re still fresh in their mind.
Once the conversation has be- gun, both people should be cautious. “Don’t seem too desperate by bombarding her with texts, it sends the wrong message,” Victor added.
Continually texting someone who hasn’t responded comes off as desperate and obsessive. You want to show interest without coming off as clingy.
Because the sender’s tone is not always obvious through a text message, it’s important to make texts personable. “One word an- swers are my biggest pet peeve. I just don’t respond if they send one word back,” Jesika said.
Keep in mind if the other person is not responding or sending short answers, he or she could simply be busy. If a few days pass with no communication, try sending a text as simple as, “Hey, how are you?” and see what type of response you get. If the answers are still short with no questions asked back, he or she is probably not interested.
Sarah and Victor said their biggest texting pet peeve is when the other person uses bad grammar.Try not to become lazy when texting because it can make you look unintelligent.
Victor also said to never text a new influence under the influence and to never send sexually explicit texts. Both of these actions can lead to embarrassment and regret.
As for the positives, all of the interviewees agreed ‘emoticons’ can make a huge difference in a text. “You’d be surprised how far a smiley can go. It changes the whole meaning of certain texts,” Jesika said.
“They soften the conversation with a positive vibe,” Victor added.
Don’t go smiley-crazy, but try slipping one into a dull text. Exclamation points can also make a simple sentence happy and exciting.
Although they believe there aredefinite rules for texting, Victor and Matt think girls read into texts more than guys do and turn it into a game. Although responding right away to texts may seem too strong, they both agreed when a girl sends quick and frequent re- plies, it shows interest.
Try to avoid having the mentality of, “He didn’t respond for five minutes, so I’m not going to respond for 10 minutes.” As long as the other person isn’t keeping you waiting an entire day to find the answer to “What are you up to?” there’s no reason to make the other person wait.
It is important to keep in mind how people differ in their texting preferences.
“I think girls find texting to be a way to communicate all day just to stay connected with some one they are interested in,” Sarah said.
“While most of the guys I know text solely for information. They don’t like texting just to hear about your day.”
Don’t panic if the person you’re texting doesn’t want to share their every movement with you. Chances are if the person has sent you texts meeting the criteria above, he or she is interested in getting to know you better.
Communicating through texts is convenient for college students because it gives time to put thought into messages and allows people to stay connected despite busy schedules. Texting also helps people to avoid awkward face-to-face moments.
Although it is important to regard the guidelines mentioned earlier, it’s essential to be yourself. If you’re putting on a different persona through texts to someone you want a relationship with, it’s only a matter of time before he or she realizes the personalities don’t match up. However, if you have fun with your texts while being true to yourself, there is a lot of room for the relationship to progress.