I always viewed myself as a “dog person,” not necessarily because I loved dogs, but because cats are butt heads. Cats don’t greet you with love when you get into the house after a long day. They give you the cold shoulder until the can opener comes out, then allot the minimum amount of affection needed [...]
The second someone asks me what my favorite movie is, I fall into an earth-shattering panic attack. How could anyone possibly expect me to catalogue every movie I’ve ever seen and pick one winner out of, literally, the thousands I’ve seen? I’ve got my top three and they’re classics. The No. 1 spot goes to [...]
This just in: My sarcasm doesn’t translate, in full, to all people of the world. Wait, what? You mean to tell me people don’t always understand how that I say, “I’m dead” after seeing a fabulous pair of studded loafers, I’m not actually dead? Or when I say, “I want to kill myself” 17 times [...]
P eople are getting more and more obsessed with their children’s health these days. Hypersensitivity to germs has even reached our campus, with “How to Wash Your Hands” fliers posted in every bathroom, and people sporting a Purell bottle on their key chains. But we need to get sick. It’s how we stay healthy. A [...]
There have been many writings on the advances and upsides of how easily accessible technologies are to the changing environment (a lot of them by me, in this publication. But hey, at least I’m consistent).
“This world is but a canvas to our imagination.” – Henry David Thoreau
Alright folks, now that we’re out of election season, we can begin to really address the important issues close to home.
Don’t get me wrong, I love America. I love that I can dye my hair pink, cafeterias can charge $8 for a grilled cheese sandwich, a family such as the Kardashians can have such an empire, and that I have to wake up every morning three hours before class just to get a parking spot. Really, I love it.
I’m a fan of action movies.
“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
“Yup, these M&M’s look suspicious. And someone’s definitely tampered with this Snickers bar. Anyway kids, enjoy your pennies and pretzel sticks. I know the cat likes those lime suckers they give at the doctor’s office, if you’re not interested in them.”