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POPE'S DOCTRINE: Holiday gifts for the clueless

I know Christmas is coming up and that can be stressful for a lot of people who have places to go and gifts to buy, but not for me. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: The long-awaited mailbag

Remember when I wrote that I would start running mailbag columns every month? Yeah, well, that didn’t happen. I’m sure you were all crushingly disappointed. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: Shoes: the window to the sole

B lah, blah, blah, San Diego State, hormones, sex, blah, blah, blah. Another column about the opposite sex, blah dee, blah dee, blah. Full story

HUMOR: Setting the record straight

The semester is grinding to a halt, which means it’s time to reflect on the post year. On news channels, the year is summarized with images that are collected and run sequentially at high speeds. I have my own personal reel running through my mind. Honestly,  some of these images hang there and nag me. Full story

7 2 OFF SUIT: Battles of sister rivalry

One might ask me, “What causes sister rivalry?” The answer is simple: It is caused by having more than one daughter. It wasn’t my parents’ fault; it’s not like they had a “Child of the Month” wall to keep us competing or anything. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Buying a TV on Black Friday

So, how was everyone’s Thanksgiving? Amazing? Yeah, that’s a given. Thanksgiving is awesome. If you had a bad Thanksgiving it’s your own fault for being a Detroit Lions fan.But you know what’s not awesome? The day after Thanksgiving. That’s right, Black Friday. Full story

LIFE ON THE SHARP SIDE: 'What not to wear' on campus

The other day I was walking around campus between two of my classes when I happened to pass a faculty member in their office. “That’s not unusual,” one would say. But what caught my attention was not that the woman was in an office, but rather the hideous ensemble that cloaked her body. The first thought that came to mind was, “Does she not look into mirrors for fear of them breaking because of the outrageousness of her outfit?” Full story

HUMOR: You're my best guy friend

I have effectively emasculated him in my mind. When he visits my house I say, “This is my room,” I don’t mean, “This is my bed and some other stuff.” I actually mean “This is my room.” He’s not so much a man but more an inventory of parts: head, chest, stomach, feet. He’s as unsexy as a grocery list. I, and every other woman in the world, have uttered these words: “You’re my best guy friend.” Full story

KARMA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: Normal to you is weird to us

Can anyone actually define what is “logical” or not? Yes, some things may seem logical to some, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s obvious to everyone else. Here in Costa Rica, logic seems to have an entirely different meaning and to be quite honest, sometimes I find it mind-boggling. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Thanksgiving, I love you

I never thought I’d say this, but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I’ve always loved it, but I think it may have officially jumped Christmas to make it to the top of my list. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: Don’t run, you look funny

One day, I was sitting in a patch of autumn sunlight at my beloved turtle pond, trying to breathe before going back to the Art building to finish seven paintings in less than a week. But, I wasn’t enjoying myself thanks to the ever-present stress that had been putting bags under my eyes and a jiggle in my midsection. Full story

LIFE ON THE SHARP SIDE: The worst game ever invented

Monopoly might be the worst board game ever invented. If you can find one person, besides my boyfriend, who actually likes the game, I will write my next column on the topic of your choice. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Trip to the Frozen Tundra

I try to stay away from writing about sports for my Back Page stuff. I understand the majority of my readers are girls with posters of Tucker Max in their rooms who don’t want to read about why Derek Fisher should be the governor of California, but today, I’m making an exception. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: The easiest route to marriage

San Diego is home to many of flourishing and diverse ecosystems. Between the Laguna Mountains and the preserved reefs of La Jolla, we live in a county that holds natural species in high regard. But even beyond these lush habitats, there is one species in particular San Diego County inadvertently nurtures above the rest: the San Diego Bro. Full story

HUMOR: A heartfelt work apology

I may have accidentally pushed a middle-aged man to the brink of depression. It isn’t something I am proud of, but unfortunately for the man in question, it is the hard truth.  Full story

LIFE ON THE SHARP SIDE: The rules of Blackboard

Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away, which can only mean one thing: Finals week is looming on the horizon. I know that in the coming weeks, aside from a caffeine-induced coma, my inbox will miraculously become filled with pleas from fellow students who beg for help like I’m a superhero or something. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: BrickBreaker and burritos

I’m tired. The Packers lost again, I’ve already written a column this week and I mentally checked out days ago because I’m taking my first trip ever to Green Bay, Wis. this weekend. In short, it’s time for a “rambling” column. Let’s begin: Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Alter egos of Mario Kart

Who is the greatest quarterback of all time? That’s debatable. Where is the best bar in San Diego? There are at least 30 good answers. But what is the greatest video game of all time? There’s no question: Mario Kart 64. Full story

HUMOR: An "unforgettable" ride

I love riding the trolley and seeing strangers forced to be in contact with one another. When the trolley stalls, the McDonald’s fry cook and U.S. Bank manager who would normally avoid all eye contact are forced to glance at each other, bonded by the common goal of journeying between points A and B. Seeing everyone forced to make body contact would make Mahatma Gandhi proud. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: It's this or pterodactyl jokes

You may have noticed that I haven’t ran any e-mails lately. It’s not that I haven’t been getting any, but rather it seems lately that people are seeking me out on Facebook or in person to give me feedback. Full story

HUMOR: Council meeting wackos

Lately, I’ve been questioning if democracy works. Before you call me a traitor and try to impale me with one of those miniature American flags, hear me out.  Full story

LIFE ON THE SHARP SIDE: The best type of birth control

Being in college, promiscuity is at an all-time high. College is a time to hook up, have fun and make bad decisions. One major dilemma arises when it comes to hooking up: What if she gets pregnant? Full story

FLAMING LIBERAL: Sizing up the relationship

Recently my boyfriend John and I discovered the true meaning of love while waiting in line for breakfast at Hash House a Go Go. For those who have never been, Hash House is a breakfast restaurant in the Hillcrest area that provides large servings of food. And I do mean large: One meal could easily feed a starving family of four. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Halloween, you are overrated

Halloween sucks. There, I said it. Yeah, that’s right, I’ll say it again: Halloween sucks.  It is without question the most overrated holiday of the year. In fact, it shouldn’t even be called a holiday. It doesn’t deserve to be in the same class as Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day or even Columbus Day. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: The campground wise woman

I jerked awake at 7:30 a.m. in my sleeping bag. I was in my brother’s camper in San Clemente and, as usual, I was the first one awake after a long night. I was still salty and sandy from our beach adventures the day before. Day-old mascara had melted onto my cheeks and my hair was threatening to dread and never return to its usual locks. Full story

LIFE ON THE SHARP SIDE: My improper introduction

I’m not sure how many of you actually remember your “first time,” but mine was one that’s hard to forget. For those who remember it as awkward or embarrassing, I can assure you my story will help ease your pain. Full story

HUMOR: I'd like to keep my fingers

No matter who you are, what you believe in or how politically involved you are, chances are that at some point in your life, a petitioner has made you uncomfortable. It’s an unavoidable fact of life. Everyone has been approached by at least one of these form-bearing passer-outers, and I think others can relate when I say I spend the duration of the time trying to figure out the quickest way out of it. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Life in the big kids' club II

David Pope recently traveled to Las Vegas to celebrate his 21st birthday. The first part of his adventure can be found in the Oct. 15 issue of The Daily Aztec or online at www.thedailyaztec.com . Full story

MEET IN THE MIDDLE: Girls, take off your Ugg boots

San Diego has finally cooled down, which can only mean one thing: The Ugg boots have emerged. Yes, the monstrosities known as Uggs can be seen all across campus now that it’s a frigid 64 degrees outside. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: Life after Facebook: a how-to

For the past few months, I have been living in a shack made out of particle board and plastic. Every surface has been painted white to hide the marks of a shady past that I’m sure includes the manufacturing and selling of crack cocaine. Full story

HUMOR: A brave boy in a turtle shell

Let me take you back to an innocent time. A time when people continuously speculated on the whereabouts of Carmen Sandiego. A time when people thought Zack from “Saved by the Bell” was the pinnacle of cool. It was 1992 and I was 5 years old. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Life in the big kids' club

I’m writing this the morning of Wednesday, Oct. 14. I’ve been back in San Diego since Sunday night from my first post-21st-birthday trip to Las Vegas. Sometime during that weekend I caught what I really believe to be the worst cold of my life. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: I think I misplaced my shoe

Yesterday I celebrated my one-year anniversary of turning 21 years old. Yes, you read me correctly. I am currently in denial and refuse to believe my mother when she tells me my life is now officially going downhill. It’s only been one day and I’m already afraid to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror only to hear my skin say to me “You look like you could use some Botox, honey.” Full story

PATI'S TAKES: The tragic decline of chivalry

In grade school, the highlight of life was being formally asked to “go out” by a boy. You’d go to a PG-rated film, maybe hold hands and maybe even kiss if you were mature for your age. Chivalry is a trait that must peak in boys at age 10 because it seems to go downhill from there. Full story

HUMOR: Thank you for smoking

You’re at a bar. The music is too loud; that one guy is being a little too creepy and you do not want to follow your friend into the bathroom that looks like a scene straight out of “Trainspotting.” The only option is obvious: Go outside. But once you’re out there, it’s a conundrum trying to figure out what to do. Rather than sitting there, shivering like a Chihuahua — you can smoke a cigarette. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: 'Your last article was stupid'

As many of you may recall, last week was my birthday. I turned 21 years old and celebrated all weekend with my best friends, really having the time of my life. But the week wasn’t perfect. And because I’m David Pope, I choose to highlight those blemishes. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: The etiquette of living

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m beginning to think more and more people have forgotten the etiquette of life. Actually, let me rephrase that: By people, I mean 99.9 percent of San Diego State students. As if I already didn’t hate waltzing around on campus four days a week as it is, the masses of people I am forced to share sidewalk space with have to completely and utterly irritate the hell out of me now too. Full story

PATI'S TAKES: Another weekend down south

I am full of lard, beer and tequila. I am covered with immaculate bruises and swollen bug bites. My body is sore and my only recollections of the weekend are smeared with loud laughter and sunshine. Basically, I went to Mexico this weekend ... again. Full story

HUMOR: Living the life and flunking

I may have signed my own death certificate at the beginning of the semester. My John Hancock on the last page of a lease agreement means that I will be living within walking distance of San Diego State for the next nine months. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Birthday extravaganza

Exactly 21 years ago in Huntington Beach, a strapping young lad by the name of David William Pope was brought into this world. That’s right ladies and gentlemen; today is my 21st birthday. Now before you start cheering and rioting in the streets in celebration (which I fully encourage you to do later), I’m sure you’re all wondering what you can get me. Lucky for you, I’ve included a list of things I would enjoy: Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: A marsupial in my apartment

I used to have two pet rats when I was a kid. Call me crazy for owning two animals with long, nasty, hairless tails, but Stormy and Cinnamon were the loves of my pre-pubescent life. Yeah, don’t judge me. You all know you owned a smelly guinea pig or a pet hamster at least once during your childhood. Full story

HUMOR: Important life lessons

A recent phone call from my sister unearthed some big news: I am going to be an uncle. A baby boy will soon join the ranks of my family, which is especially exciting considering I’m my sister’s only sibling. This means that I, a morally confused San Diego State student, will be in the position to greatly influence a young person’s life. The idea of me being a role model may concern some, but let me say, with my help, this child is going to be awesome. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: Making it FB official

I recently started the most successful rumor about myself on Facebook: I got engaged to a bearded 30-something-year-old man who none of my friends had ever met before. It’s the best relationship I’ve never been in. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: That notorious towel

It’s story time, kids. Gather around. I’m going to take you back to that fateful night, freshman year in the Zura residence hall, when my innocence was shattered forever. Full story

I'M A GIRL YOU KNOW: Meet my dog, it's a mini me

Everyone knows a dog is a man’s best friend. Actually no, I take that back. I really can’t say I do and I assume this is because I do not have a canine companion. This is because, one, I can barely take care of my own life much less a four-legged critter that relies on me for a daily dose of Purina; and two, my roommate’s 27-pound cat bears more resemblance to a dog than the coyote that snatched Jessica Simpson’s Malti-poo. However, I realize that the age-old adage possesses a substantial amount of credibility. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: Making a way in Mexico

Let me preface this whole Back Page by letting you know that I go to Mexico almost every other weekend. But it’s all right, I was raised by ninjas, so I’m really good at dodging bullets. I’ve also become completely desensitized to the gruesome killings of Americans that don’t take place there. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: We're not dating, ever

I don’t date. Some people find this weird; what broke college girl wouldn’t want to go out for dinner and drinks without having to shell out a dime? No, thank you. I’d rather pay my own way.   Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: So about the Kanye scenario

As someone who dislikes almost everything, but doesn’t throw around the word “hate” too often, I can say with conviction that I hate MTV. That being said, I have to admit I kind of look forward to the Video Music Awards every year. Why? I don’t know. Probably the same reason Tyler Perry keeps getting paid millions of dollars not to be funny — it just doesn’t make sense. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: Fire ants in turtle paradise

Has anyone else been attacked by fire ants on the hill by the turtle pond? It’s happened to me not once, but twice. It’s horrible. It fully ruins the Eden-esque vibe I dig so graciously on the grass knoll near the turtle pond. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: Dear Cosmo, thanks for the tips

I stopped subscribing to Cosmopolitan a while ago. I know, I know, with all the Q & A’s on how to get the best underarm shave and those throw-your-head-back-in-uproarious-uncontrollable-laughter sex bloopers, you’re probably wondering why I would ever think to stop it from depleting my checking account for the subscription — aka “my happy hour money” — for its services. Full story

HUMOR: How to snooze during class

Head teetering side-to-side, eyes half shut, the echo of a lone voice becoming fainter ... If any of this sounds familiar, congratulations, you’ve fallen asleep in class before, which is a honored university tradition. Whether trying to sleep off the previous night’s debauchery or the professor’s drone is akin to three TYLENOL PMs, there’s nothing wrong with trying to catch some extra Z’s. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: The personality and stereotypes of jerseys

So I know I teased a running diary from our trip to the Rose Bowl in the last football preview, but I’m sorry to say nothing really happened. We drove up, harassed The Daily Bruin, filmed “Overtime” and went home. I’m sorry. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Please, not another move

I can’t name one person who likes moving. Sure, everyone likes getting a new place, but they hate moving. Everyone does, it’s a known fact, especially if you’re a student. Full story

HUMOR: Coping with customer service

Waiter, retail assistant and store clerk are three different jobs I’ve held with one thing in common: dealing with the incoherent public. All of these jobs emphasize customer service, which best I can tell means accommodating those with entitlement issues. Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful to be working in a grocery store that pays relatively well. Likewise, I know people are expected to be catatonic because nearly everyone shops while on auto-pilot.   Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: The 10 rules I learned this summer

Oh yay, it’s the fourth day of classes. If you are a freshman and are utterly excited to finally be away from mommy and daddy don’t worry kids, this feeling will be short-lived once you realize you’re failing half of your classes from partying too hard at the fraternities. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Classmates, please interrupt lecture

When new classes are starting, most of us aren’t worried about our professors. We already found their easiness rating online, so we’re good in that department. We don’t sweat getting books or other generic school supplies either because we all know what the first day of class is really about. No, not the unveiling of the newest syllabi or class “clicker” technology. It’s the anticipation of seeing how hot your new classmates are (hopefully.) And as hard as it may be to believe, I have even taken some “dud” classes at San Diego State that were full of gorgeous women.  Full story

HUMOR: Quality family time drives me nuts

Aztecs, I can safely say that I am not scared of many things. Heights are OK and no spider stands a chance against the business end of my Swiffer. But, as my mom informed me that we would be road-trippin’ to visit family for the weekend, my palms began sweating and my heart raced the way only the San Diego State men’s basketball team can. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Welcome to SDSU, ladies

Yesterday was my dad’s favorite holiday. Some of you may be familiar with it, as many dads really seem to enjoy it. It’s what he likes to call “The Saddest Day of the Year.” The last day of summer break. Few things excite him more than being able to ridicule me all day about going back to school. This year was especially enjoyable for him because my sister and I both start school today, so it was a “Double Saddest Day of the Year.” Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: So this one time ... in Vegas ...

I know what you all are thinking right now after reading the title: “Here she goes again with another one of her damn Vegas stories like she thinks she’s cool or something.” Calm down, people; my summer has consisted of other things aside from going to Vegas and stalking people on Facebook all day. When I figure out what those things are, though, I’ll let you all know. Full story

SINGLE STEVE: What your "tweets" say about your personality

Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. The buzz grows; the fad continues. I’ll admit I jumped on the bandwagon to see what the big deal was. I now “tweet” on an obnoxiously regular basis. I joined for the same reason everyone else joined: a chance to have your voice heard and an opportunity to spread your wisdom and thoughts. No, I’m just kidding. I joined for the same reason you did: to meet chicks and self-promote. Right? I’ve been on Twitter for a of couple months now, and I’ve made some observations about the ridiculous “types” of people you might come across. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: Tales from the city of sin

So, I finally saw “The Hangover” last week. Yeah, I know what you all are probably thinking right now, “WTF? I didn’t know that movie was still out in theaters!” Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Hello and goodbye from Hawaii

Greetings! I’m coming to you from the Marriott’s Maui Ocean Club Resort in Hawaii, or as I like to call it, “Jailbait Island.” Yes, I’m on vacation with my family right now and let me tell you, there are more 15-year-old Midwestern girls here than at a Miley Cyrus concert in Milwaukee. (Zing!) But, I know what you’re all thinking: “Marriott Resort? Nice name-drop, Pope. You must think you’re a pretty big deal.” Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: A reach across the aisle

Grocery shopping sucks. You know it. I know it. Just about every aspect of it is terrible.  Full story

SINGLE STEVE: Getting kicked out of a bar

On any given Thursday night there’s a 75 percent chance you will find me at Moondoggies (aka Dude-Doggies, aka Line-Doggies) in Pacific Beach. The following is a true story that happened a few weeks ago on such a magical Thursday night. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: The irony of the NBA

I’ve always found it kind of odd that NBA players make so much money — and so much more than even the man at the top: President Barack Obama. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Lessons learned by Pope

Before I start, I’d like you all to keep in mind that I’m writing this early in the morning of seis de Mayo, so the aroma of tacos, limes and shame is dominating my house. Full story

SINGLE STEVE: Groups of girls I hate: Part II

I know I’ve already written once about groups of girls at bars I hate, but I was at a few Pacific Beach bars this weekend and it’s obvious I missed a few. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Breathe with caution

Swine flu? Really? C’mon now. Don’t you think we, as a country, have enough on our plate? First, President Barack Obama has to deal with a historic economic crisis, banks are failing left and right, pirates … what’s next? Monkey Cough? Ant Hepatitis? The poor guy can’t catch a break. Either way, this swine crap is beginning to look kind of serious. It’s really starting to spread on a global level, too. I can’t believe that it’s actually killing people. That is one way I do not want to go. I never want a doctor to explain to my family that my cause of death can all be traced back to a dirty little piglet who had the sniffles. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: So are we innocent or not?

Hello there. Come gather around and let me tell you a tale … One morning last week my friend, whom we’ll call Joe, for privacy issues, was in his living room with his roommates and a handful of visitors, laying around, being college guys, mentally preparing themselves for the academic day that lay ahead of them. During the lethargic chuckles and general contentedness, there was a knock on the door. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Pope's infamous mailbag

 Well, the time has come, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the big debut of my mailbag column. Although, I’m thinking I need to rename it: “Girls write in and tell me I’m funny.”   Now, far be it for me to complain about such a thing. In fact, this is great. Until someone complains about me, I’m forced to assume I really am as all-encompassingly awesome as I thought.   Anyway, these are real e-mails from real readers: Full story

HUMOR: The business of women

As graduation lurks around the corner, I have been frantically reflecting on my educational investment. As a business major I feel well-equipped with copious amounts of business jargon to awe and woo potential employers. I have diligently acquired the skills necessary  to leverage my degree and produce business results. Statistically speaking, graduating in what is said to be the worst job market since the Great Depression actually increases my ROI (return on investment). Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: The infamous Fergusons

There is one in almost every classroom. It’s that one person who, as soon as he or she opens that mouth of his or hers, you feel their obnoxiousness weighing down your soul. Everyone moans a collective groan and rolls their eyes in unison, but this person just doesn’t stop. Full story

I'M A GIRL YOU KNOW: Of pools and Pull-Ups

I hate admitting this — mainly because I sound like a cheap floozy who wears six-inch heels and likes to show off her “Britney,” but I have an irrefutable obsession with Las Vegas. Since I turned 21 it’s likely that I have visited the city of sin more times than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have visited a jail cell for DUIs and possession of illicit drugs combined. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: My shameful generation

Right off the bat, I’m starting a new periodic section for this column: “Things I hate about my generation.” And here we go: Full story

HUMOR: Awkward meet-and-greet

We’re going to Quentin Tarantino this article. I’m going to start with the ending and we’ll work our way through and show how it got to that point. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Waiting for my big break

There have been a lot of random things running through my mind lately: Why isn’t the word phonetic spelled phonetically? Do hypochondriacs ever fear they have hypochondria? Why do I hate having hiccups, but love laughing my ass off at other people struggling with them? These thoughts and many other useless ideas have culminated together into one big question: What the hell am I doing with my life? Full story

HUMOR: Why can't we all be friends?

A very year, people from all over the world enroll at San Diego State, pissing off thousands of denied applicants from SoCal who shame their parents because they’re forced to attend a junior college, or worse, Cal State Fullerton. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Inside the mind of Pope

I like football way too much. OK, maybe I just like the Green Bay Packers too much. Alright, in all honesty, I just like Aaron Rodgers too much. My Ducks are about to take on their arch rival, the Sharks (from the land of fail known as NorCal), in the first round of the NHL playoffs, yet I was more excited for the release of the NFL schedule on Tuesday. Full story

SINGLE STEVE: How not to meet girls

I’m a grown-up, it’s true, and part of being a grown-up is doing your own laundry. I have the misfortune of not owning a washer and dryer, so I have to go down to the laundromat about a block away and fight with the rest of the locals for a working washer and dryer. As much as I’d love to go to the laundromat, bump into a pretty girl washing her lingerie, make a witty joke about laundry then be happily ever after from there, the reality is a little different. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: If I could read minds

I’ve always wanted to have a superpower. I mean, seriously, how legit would it be to fly to class or prevent aging and stay in college forever or even possess projection: “the ability to make your thoughts become reality,” according to www.superherodb.com. Life would simply become one field day after another, and my childhood dreams of making sweet, passionate love to Tyra Banks would soon be realized. Full story

MO' MONEY: My first journey to Las Vegas

As destination Tijuana becomes increasingly dangerous, fraternity and sorority thrillseekers are searching for more unregulated debauchery to get their fix. Well, I say there’s no better place than Las Vegas. Full story

SINGLE STEVE: No winners at girls' night out

I love bars. I love girls. But I hate girls at the bars. But you say, “Hey Steven, I’m a girl. I go to bars. Do you hate me?” I say, “Yes, yes I do.” OK maybe I don’t hate you, but rather the group of girls you fit into while you’re at the bar. The group I hate the most: girls attending, “Girls’ Night Out!” Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: The bay goes a long way

Every year, people from all over the world enroll at San Diego State. This column is for my favorite group of out-of-town students: my fellow Bay Area natives who find themselves to be students at SDSU. I know not everyone moved here from Northern California, but I’ve met more people from there than anywhere else. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: The madness of March

For the past several years, I’ve filled out an NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament bracket in hopes of being crowned the March Madness “King”— at least among my friends. We always throw in a little financial incentive (not a bet, because that would be illegal) but to be perfectly honest, I’m mainly concerned about the bragging rights that come with winning any and all of our pools. Taking my friends’ money is just the cherry on top — and a bad excuse for a visit to a strip club. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: I refuse to name drop

Since I was about four years old my father always told me, “Son, if you ever write a humor column for The Daily Aztec, never suggest that you’ll mention your friends’ names if they ask you to.” Unfortunately, that’s some advice I did not heed. This is just like the time he told me to stay away from white women. He was right about that, and he’s right about this. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: The night of the epic mission

It all started last Tuesday night when my most regular partner in crime and I were in the abode of some acquaintances we acquired while marauding around in the ocean; fellow travelers of the wave, if you will. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Why are we celebrating?

Holidays are weird — they don’t make much sense to me. But, we love them. Some are religious and others are just elaborate excuses not to go to work on a particular day (I’m talking about you, Arbor Day). People blindly fall in line with traditions on these days. It seems like no one ever questions why they celebrate a holiday the way they do. Almost all the customs and routines I was raised with hardly make sense to me.   Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Daily Aztec, Vegas style

Last week, David Pope, along with Sports Editor Edward Lewis and Assistant Photo Editor Glenn Connelly went to Las Vegas to cover the Mountain West Conference Tournament. This is a recap of those days’ events. Full story

HUMOR: It's that time of the year

The special time of year that helps signify the start of spring is finally upon us. The sun is shining, the grass is green and I’m paying $8.50 for just one bottle of Coors Light. It’s that time when you see diving catches, walk-off homeruns and the occasional streaking fan. That’s right people, it’s baseball season. Full story

MO' MONEY: The 'stache statement

For some odd reason, I feel obligated to write about the bushy part of a man’s upper lip. That’s right, I’m talking about the manliest part of a man’s face, the mustache. After some in-depth research and analysis, I have come to the conclusion that the month of March has far more to offer than green beer, shiny beads and a lousy basketball tournament. In fact, research suggests the month of March is nationally the manliest month of the year. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: If you don't surf, don't start

Surfing sucks. The media trying to convince you that it’s cool is the same as them trying to tell you that Jessica Biel’s body is what every woman’s should look like and that Valentine’s Day is a real holiday. There’s nothing cool about surfing. Only losers surf. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: My very own entourage

So I just got back from a night downtown, and let me tell you something: If you think being a fifth wheel is bad, try being a ninth wheel. Full story

ARE YOU THERE, TAAKA? IT'S ME, FARYAR: An alternative therapy: FML

It’s not every day when you run into something great, and trust me, it is even more rare that you run into something amazing. But sometimes, when you aren’t looking for these diamonds in the rough, they just end up coming to you — much like when you are in a relationship and every girl or guy suddenly wants you. Full story

I’M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: My own March Madness

March. It’s that time of year again. Because I’m not a fan of basketball, I am definitely not referring to March Madness, nor am I referring to the drunken stupor that is St. Patty’s Day. I’m also not about to reference the one whole week at the end of the month that we are allotted to sit around in a state of intoxication and not have to worry about midterms or whether or not your professor gave a pop quiz the day you slept through your alarm. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Dreams of matrimony

I’ll never forget sitting on the playground at recess with the boys, planning out our futures. We would become professional athletes, earn butt-loads of cash and inevitably end up lounging in a mansion somewhere with a Playboy Bunny wife.  Needless to say, now that I’m a little older, I’m pretty sure none of those dreams are going to pan out. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Writer’s block at its best

It’s been a month and a half since I’ve started writing these things every week and I’m already completely out of ideas for things to write about. Full story

HUMOR: Some evils of education

Academia is ruining my life. This realization hit me over the holiday break when I saw some friends for the first time since high school. We went to a party where the beer and hard liquor flowed like water and with the good ol’ Captain fueling my night, we reminisced of past times. However, while I was recalling our old times together, my pirateness ended when I noticed all of my friends staring at me in confusion. Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Too bad the good ol' glory days of the past are long gone

I remember a simpler time. It was … before MySpace and Facebook. Before energy drinks and iPods. When steroids were still considered “cool,” when Zima flowed like wine, when Diddy was Puffy, when Bill Clinton was president, and when boy bands were annoying. A lot of things have changed since those glorious days of the ‘90s. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: What's this about again?

David Pope, Assistant Sports Editor

Is it just me, or was Nancy Pelosi wearing a Snuggie during President Barack Obama’s speech on Tuesday night? I think it was sage, though I would have gone with burgundy. By now, some of you are saying to yourselves, “Pope, what the hell? That was your Facebook status from the other night. Are you just recycling your material?’ Full story

CHILLIN' IN THE BACK: Making the trek home

It was raining.  I definitely had my share of “consumption” for the night, as people started to leave the once-crackin’ house party.  Some left through the front door, others the garage. The really plastered partygoers drunkenly hopped over the urine-soaked back fences because they could’ve sworn they heard someone yell, “Cops!” And there I was.  Standard-issue plastic red cup in hand with only a swig left. Just as that sweet, sweet concoction was about to grace my palette, it hit me — I have to walk home. Weak. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: Trippin' at the market

I go to the supermarket once a week, and every single week it’s the exact same freakin’ routine: bread, fruits and vegetables, drinks, pasta and pie, dairy products and eggs, chips and salsa and finally the frozen-food aisle. Then, I step up to the checkout counter, drop a hundo like it’s hot and proceed with my day. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: 'In An Absolut World'

I have this weird fixation with the “In An Absolut World” ads and commercials. Don’t ask me why, because the only valid reason I have to offer is that I am easily amused by anything that is shiny or can hold my attention span for more than five seconds — and they do both. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Wish I woulda known

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and advise yourself to do things differently? Or to adjust your life for the better and change the world in a positive way? Well snap out of it, idiot. That’s not possible; stop living in a dreamworld. Still, if I could, this is the note I would give my fourth-grade self. Full story

HUMOR: No hope of a space war

Just a few weeks into his first term, newly elected President Barack Obama, has so far proven his campaign of peace, love and "change" shall hold strong throughout his presidency, at least so far. Full story

I'M A GIRL, YOU KNOW: Cleaning away the past

More than a month ago, I had the lovely pleasure of spending the weekend at my parents’ house. And what a glorious weekend it was, getting the chance to sleep on my flimsy air mattress, drink my parents’ beer and last but certainly not least: clean out the dreaded spare bedroom. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: One deprived childhood

I don’t know how to ride a bike. There! I said it — Gah! Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: Valentine's Day advice

I need to finish this column in a hurry; I still haven’t done my “25 Facts” note on Facebook. So far I only have two: 1) I don’t trust white women or anyone from NorCal, and 2) I have had impure thoughts about Erin Esurance (the cartoon character from those insurance commercials). Full story

KARMA PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: Do you want to donate?

Here’s the deal: I don’t want your stinkin’ flyer. I don’t want to go to the wannabe underage party. I don’t want to help the environment. I don’t want to sign the petition. But, I do. And it’s horrible. I don’t think I’m that nice of a person. I can’t say patience is on my top-10 list of personality traits. Then why must I always do this to myself? Full story

ARE YOU THERE, TAAKA? IT'S ME, FARYAR: Grammys going downhill

It might just be me, but watching a nine-month pregnant M.I.A. who was doing more wobbling than swaggerin’ around stage, accompanied by the “rap pack,” isn’t exactly the way I wanted to spend a rainy Sunday night. Some may argue that Kanye West’s new greasy “I am more famous than Elvis” fro stole the attention — but I still blame that hideous polka-dot unitard that was M.I.A.’s black and white bumblebee-esque ensemble. Full story

HUMOR: A night at the royal ball

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. And because she was beautiful, she had to say goodbye to her king father and queen mother and went to the only place in the whole kingdom where she could possibly belong: San Diego State. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Truly dressing the part

From an early age, I’ve taken the expression of “not feeling comfortable in your own skin” literally. When I was seven, I covered my entire face with my mother’s radiant red lipstick. Full story

HUMOR: The art of couch surfing

Welcome to college. If you’ve been here for more than a half-hour, you have more than likely noticed that drinking is a big thing around these parts. And knowing us college kids, we will go to great and shameful lengths to participate in any activity that involves drinking Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: Let's go Aztecs, let's go

San Diego State is a stand-up institution.  A personification of our school would wear suits to class and donate blood every time Red Cross was on campus. It has one of the best schools of journalism in the state, a flourishing Greek system, a picture perfect location and a multitude of brochure worthy student organizations. Full story

I'M A GIRL YOU KNOW: The cult of the Snuggie

As much as I hate to admit this, I have a secret obsession with infomercials. They are kind of like a car accident. You know, so incredibly horrifying, yet for some reason you just can’t seem to turn your head away from the sight of it. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: A look into the future

I’ll never forget the first time my heart was broken.  The musical therapy of Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart” helped me to get through the storm, but I yearned for the day my clothes would dry. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: The best house party

Hosting a party definitely has its downsides. For one, having a bunch of people in the comfort of your home, some of whom are complete strangers, can definitely be overwhelming and eerie. Full story

HUMOR: Bye, Bushy the squirrel

Rachel Calkins, Staff Columnist

Once upon a time, there was a young squirrel with a particularly bushy tail. Bushy, the squirrel’s father, was once the king of the forest and even as a baby rodent, Bushy Junior knew he too would someday rule the kingdom of West Forest. Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: What was I saying again?

The day I was born there was a tragic oil spill that not too many people have heard about. No creatures were harmed, but to this day, the S.S. Short-Term’s residue lingers and has oddly enough only increased in mass. This steadfast oil slick has flourished in the past 20 years and it happens to span the distance between my right and left ears. Full story

POPE'S DOCTRINE: The best gift of all

Winter break is a time for traditions and pastimes: holidays with the family, college bowl games and of course, the greatest tradition of all, going home and hooking up with your ex from high school. Full story

DANG, KAT: The fondest farewell

I don’t want to say good-bye, but this is it. I’m not ready to leave college. According to the requirements necessary to graduate with a bachelor’s degree, I’m set to go, but I’m not willing to just yet. There’s still so much that interests me that I want to learn about, and it doesn’t matter if I have to go through more than 15 weeks of it or put up with writing papers or studying for exams — I want to stay. Full story

HUMOR: Digging for gift ideas

Get ready for polar bears with frosted mugs, it’s Christmas! This Yule-infested holiday is loosely based on: lies (to children), deforestation (in the name of shiny tinsel and pine-scented homes), obesity (all holiday recipes require at least one stick of butter) and awfully repetitive, mind-numbing music (pop stars, please put down the recording equipment and stop the madness). Full story

PATTY'S TAKES: 'Will you be my friend?'

I’m not antisocial. I’d like to think I’m pretty outgoing, maybe even too outgoing. I’m the girl who cracks jokes in class to the bitter end, regardless of how many frat boys turn around just to glare at me and my sense of humor. Some people laugh and those are the people that I usually make friends with. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Baby, come back to me

Aside from being told, “Your cookies gave Santa diabetes,” the worst comment to hear is, “Be realistic.” When no one thought a human could be made into a kite, the sport of parasailing was invented. Full story

HUMOR: The perks of being DD

I did it again, Aztecs. My constant quest to find a good time and, in turn, hopefully find myself, has brought me to a place I never thought I’d come to. Welcome to Sobriety, population: Me. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: Lack of accountability

One of the fundamental life lessons I’ve learned since entering college is accountability. It’s a lesson that seemingly requires profound levels of maturity and self-awareness, which are two aspects that have been rejected by a few highly-successful professional athletes such as “Sugar” Shane Mosley, Marion Jones and Barry Bonds. Full story

HUMOR: A pirate's life for me

For those of you who haven’t heard, Somali pirates are taking over the world. OK, maybe not the entire world, but parts of it. Expensive parts. Full story

PATTY'S CAKES: From the city of angels

I most recently had the pleasure of having my butt go numb on the three-hour drive back home in my 1988 Volvo station wagon (with broken springs in the driver’s seat). The tingling cheeks were definitely worth it to return to my star-studded and cultured home of Los Angeles. I’d hate to admit it, but after a few months I start to miss seeing the hoards of girls strutting around Hollywood & Highland like they are on “The Hills.” Full story

DANG, KAT: Immigration confessions

It’s a difficult thing, moving to a different country when you’ve just become a teenager. The impetus of the shock of having to live and assimilate into a new culture is not as cumbersome as when you’re an adolescent. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Move it, baby on board

Looking for parking at San Diego State is as maddening as if “Star Wars” was made into an animated TV series based solely on the character of Jar Jar Binks. After almost an hour of demolition-derby-driving and no parking spot in sight, I transform from a preacher of peace and love to a promoter of Social Darwinism. In response to more than three years of wasting precious Wii playing-time circling around parking lots, I’ve devised a plan. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: Pretend-dating troubles

I’m currently involved in an imaginary relationship with a girl in one of my classes, and I have to admit, it isn’t going well. Full story

DANG, KAT: Some titanic proportions

While getting ready to check out of our hotel room two Sundays ago, my family and I found ourselves glued to the tube by a rerun of James Cameron’s “Titanic.” We picked up from the scene where Jack, played by my childhood (and adult) crush Leonardo DiCaprio, confronts Rose, portrayed by the talented Kate Winslet, on how scared she is to break away from the constraints of the upper-class world. Full story

KARMA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: My unfamiliar friends

Each semester we start anew. We have new schedules, new professors, new classmates and new routes to new classes. Eventually we find consistency and familiarity in our new schedules and it all becomes repetitive and routine. Before long you can guess which bikes will be parked at the bike rack by Aztec Center, who’s working at the East Commons Aztec Shop before your lit class and which guy will be rushing out of Parking Structure 4 blaring some Ludacris or Chingy song with the windows down. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: My day, caffeine-free

Coffee entered my life at a very young age. As a kid, the peer pressure to stay awake for TGIF and still be expected to wake up for Saturday morning cartoons was as difficult as admitting that “MMMBop” is one of my favorite songs. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: Life lessons in crashing

"Life’s a wedding. Crash it.” If you’re unfamiliar with this catchphrase or simply need a quick refreshment, it’s from my all-time favorite movie, “Wedding Crashers,” a 2005 comedy about two men who crash weddings to meet and sleep with women. Full story

HUMOR: Exploring like Balboa

As soon as your eyelids peel apart and you let the sun ricochet off the walls of your skull, you realize you have a headache. You groan, you roll over, you cling to your pillow for comfort as the night floods back to you in one big smack on the forehead. You don’t think you’re nauseous but when you stand up to check — no, definitely not going to make it out of this morning alive. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Striking isn’t fair to us

I was mere weeks from recovering from my Post-Traumatic Strike Disorder after the 100-day writers strike, before the possibility of an actors strike ensued. On June 30, the Screen Actors Guild’s contract with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers expired, and until now, a new contract has yet to be signed. “Actors strike” is as lethal a combination of words as “game over” or “mission failed” is to hard-core gamers. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: Call me T. Rolley, thanks

Because of our country’s economic downturn and gas being expensive as all hell, the last couple of months I’ve been getting to and from school via San Diego’s public transit system. I bought a pass that lasts all year and I have to say, it has been working out pretty well. Full story

JUST JOSHIN' YA: Inside the lines of sports

Ever since I was a kid, sports have been my life. For starters, my favorite television show is SportsCenter and my aspiring tattoo is the Dodgers’ LA symbol embroidered with purple outlining and gold filling. If that’s not enough, perhaps my license plate frame best portrays the sentiment: “Nothing matters but sports.” Full story

HUMOR: Some ordinary outfitting

I hate Urban Outfitters. “Why?” you ask. “I love Urban Outfitters! Their stuff is so cute!” That’s the general response to my hatred. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Voting is the cat's meow

Every four years, the Olympic Games fill viewers’ digital video recorder space. Athletes incapable of waiting their turn participate in synchronized diving, while rhythmic gymnasts attempt to perform as gracefully as Frank the Tank. February has long been separated from the 29th day of the month, but every four years a leap is taken and the flame is rekindled. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: Dedication at its finest

The first time it happened was in January of 2006. It was a wonderful start of something new for me and the three other guys involved. As much as we enjoyed it, we knew society wouldn't understand. None of us would admit it, but there was a fair amount of shame to go along with the unadulterated pleasure we received from our newfound love. Full story

HUMOR: Hello, I'm Buck Foston

Hate is a strong, ugly word. I’ve always made a conscious effort to avoid using it casually (though it seems to pop out whenever I’m discussing my esteemed Sports Editor, Edward Lewis). So I hope when I say, “I hate Boston,” you don’t assume I’m using any sort of hyperbole, because I really, really hate Boston. Full story

DANG, KAT: A love-hate relationship

I just sank my teeth into a delicious Snickers bar, and am thinking to myself that if an award for the best chocolate candy bar in the whole galaxy existed, I would rush to vote for this particular one. Before you start neighing like a horse and dispute that it could easily be bested by other ones, your argument will fall on deaf ears. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: The big decision of 2008

I’ve spent the last few weeks in deep thought over a pressing matter currently affecting a vast majority of people. Very soon, a vital decision will need to be made and it is very important for people to be aware of all the issues beforehand. Personally, I’m trying to decide between a character possessing honor and decisiveness and one with creativity and boldness. Full story

KARMA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: How hungry will we be?

Oh holidays, the season of sharing, loving and gaining weight. Right? Everyone knows that winter is the scariest time of year for us gym rats. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: You don't scare me, TJ

If you always listen to the media, you’d never cross the border into Mexico. The media, what a joke. This is the same “media’” that killed Princess Diana, remember? The media doesn’t know jack. Full story

DANG, KAT: The nonchalant culture

The first time I heard the word “nonchalant” was in my junior year of high school. I’m not too sure of how I came across it exactly, but I think a fellow classmate had it as her username on a blog site. From then on, every time someone said “nonchalant” I pictured it dwarfing the other words in the sentence. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Dissecting the vacation

Vacations are retirement test trials, and the tourism industry desires trips to last as long as it took Moses to find the Promised Land and then save Private Ryan. For travelers, fanny packs not only serve as mini backpacks, but act as human bumpers in the event of a fast paced run-in. While traveling safely, vacationers explore local attractions, taking as many photos as paparazzi take to make sure selling their souls doesn’t go to waste. Full story

KARMA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: To Costa Rica, from love

Hello San Diego State, this is Kristina Peltin reporting from Costa Rica. Yes, you read right, reporting from Costa Rica. For those chepitos (nosy people) wondering why I’m here, you can refer to my Dating and Romance article from Aug. 28 at The Daily Aztec Web site: www.thedailyaztec.com. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: You're cracking my egg

This is a public service announcement intended to improve the overall quality of life on campus. I’ve been noticing a few things that have been making it hard for me to show my sunny side. Up until now, I just figured these things would work themselves out as students wise up to campus life. Well, that hasn’t happened yet, so hopefully this will help. Full story

DANG, KAT: A few birthday wishes

I turn 23 tomorrow. I am not dreading this. I’ve been looking forward to this since the day after I turned 22. This is not the primary reason, of course, but I get to indulge in any Cold Stone Creation that I want for free since I’m a member of their Birthday Club. Mmm...strawberry ice cream with graham cracker pie bits and white chocolate chips. Heaven, make a space for this little angel here, because she’s coming your way! Yeah, yeah, that was corny, but I figured I’d exercise my right as a birthday celebrant to put that in. Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Rolling around campus

A few weeks ago, my temptation to wear a muscle tee made me realize my books had become dumbbells with prose inside of them. From years of carrying my backpack on one side, my shoulders were as unbalanced as the justice in O.J. Simpson’s murder trail. After finding Simpson in bed with Lady Liberty, Lady Justice made sure his new collection of memorabilia would include an orange jumpsuit. Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: Tale of a dwindling bar

Oh no, did you hear? I can’t believe it. It can’t be true! Louie’s Bar is closing! I can’t believe it. I said that already!   They can’t close down Louie’s. They just can’t. There are already so few reasons to skip class once I’m already on campus, and Louie’s has been the best one for years. What do the suits upstairs think they are doing? I mean, this is a college campus. College. We can’t have more libraries on campus than we do pubs. Madness! Full story

IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: An age sweeter than 16

Life’s milestones gave birth to Hallmark cards while “The Scarlet Letter” was the inspiration behind letterman jackets. One milestone I have been through countless of times is being engaged. The engagement lasts around an hour, until I have licked the ring pop to its core and have no use for it anymore. Graduation is a milestone, and at San Diego State, graduating in four years is as impressive as becoming a vice-presidential nominee when only having a small amount of experience. Full story

DANG, KAT: Burying your head under

Did you know that San Diego State has ostriches? Yes, as in the creatures known to bury their heads in the ground when frightened, thinking that because they can’t see anything around them, they can’t be seen either. Fun fact: Ostriches don’t actually bury their heads. They lay it flat on the ground. Full story

KARMA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES: Ya I'm pretty, so what?

Oh Palin. Palin, Palin, Palin. As I’ve been watching her the past few weeks in her attempt at interviews, the debate she just participated in and the brilliant Saturday Night Live skits mocking her, I’ve wondered, “Palin, how did you get to where you are?” Of course she can’t answer that question to; she’s too busy doing … wait, no really, how did she get where she is again? Full story

IT'S NOT WHITE BOY DAY: Silence is golden, really

Disgust. Hatred. Murder. All of these things were prominent in my heart after 50 minutes of Geography 102. I arrived to class early and landed my favorite seat, back row, with the aisle to my right. Full story

ARE YOU THERE, TAAKA? IT'S ME, FARYAR: Do I feel a draft in here?

If you're like half of my friends and you're a dude, then you are probably feeling the stress of week 5 in your fantasy football league. Now, you could have been like me and drafted Tom Brady in both your leagues as your first pick. Or, you could have been like my friend, who will remain unnamed, but has a very similar name to that of Benedict XVI, and drafted the entire Green Bay Packers' offense and defense because he thinks that they are God's football team to men. Full story

DANG, KAT: The lesson of heritage

I remember one afternoon when I was grocery shopping with my mom. I was watching the cashier bag our items, when my eye caught her name tag. "Evelyn" was written in big, bold letters. My six-year-old self mentally examined my name, Ching Ching, which, at that time, I didn't know was just a nickname. Why did my parents have to give me such a kiddy name? Even at that age, I was already starting to worry about what future employers would say when they received a résumé from a certain Ching Ching Danganan. No one would take a person with that name seriously, I theorized. I thought I was doomed for good. Full story