Vacations are retirement test trials, and the tourism industry desires trips to last as long as it took Moses to find the Promised Land and then save Private Ryan. For travelers, fanny packs not only serve as mini backpacks, but act as human bumpers in the event of a fast paced run-in. While traveling safely, vacationers explore local attractions, taking as many photos as paparazzi take to make sure selling their souls doesn’t go to waste.
Although I take pleasure in sightseeing, I believe one of the best parts of a vacation is the hotel stay.
Upon entering a hotel room, the first action I take before testing each chair in a Goldilocks manner is to check for free movie channels. In a hotel room, free movie channels are as important as the repeal of Prohibition is to Bud-weis-er. People privileged with HBO or Cinemax find my needs to be as trivial as a sandbox built on the beach.
After I watch a movie or two, I inspect the room for hobbit friendly travel toiletries and products. All hair products, from shampoo to hair dryers have been down-sized in order to prevent the world from ever seeing Fabio have a bad hair day. There are also mini-toothbrushes and toothpaste small enough to fit in a wallet in case of a garlic emergency or a mosquito bite.
The mini bar snacks and beverages typically cost more than their full-sized versions in grocery stores. The ice bucket is for people not willing to purchase water unless it is from the fountain of youth. All it takes is a full bucket of ice, and within a few hours it will magically turn into water. If only the U.S. Department of the Treasury could take such economical approaches.
Miniature mania isn’t the only benefit of staying in a hotel. Along with meticulously making the bed, a chocolate is placed on the pillow. The tooth fairy and maid services are either in competition or have joined forces to rid mouths of baby teeth. Hotels also offer an antisocial personality the best accommodation of all called room service. For narcoleptics or those lacking alarm clocks, wake-up calls are always available.
On vacation, many people reasonably shut off their minds in order to relax. If a hotel guest feels as if he or she is neglecting his or her reading or has some extra time for a long read, there is not need to fret. In every hotel there is a Bible and a phone book. Either read the books of Matthew and John or call people up in the phone book to see if they are up for a game of Jenga.
Vacations are an enjoyable time of rest and relaxation, and there is no better way to experience R & R than in the comfort of a hotel room.
—Sarah Atallah is an English senior.
—This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.
The Daily Aztec > The Back Page
IF YOU'RE NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD: Dissecting the vacation
Published: Sunday, October 19, 2008
Updated: Monday, October 20, 2008
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